No, that picture is not an illusion. Nor is it blockbuster CGI, although I admit it does look it. It is I, submerged in Egypt’s Red Sea to a whopping depth of about six metres. Yes, I could have dived that deep without the ridiculous getup. However! I am not wearing a skin tight synthetic rubber suit and tubes for the thrill of it (at least not this time), it’s there to help me dive to the deepest depths.

If you haven’t learnt to dive, you haven’t lived. And if you haven’t lived, well, it isn’t a very fair deal when you die. So my recommended remedy is that you learn to dive and I would suggest the Red Sea as the ultimate place to start. SCUBA diving is a magical experience because you can float around weightlessly, see an incredible range of underwater life, explore truly beautiful landscapes, swim through ship wrecks from the first and second World Wars and it’s the only place you can actually find Nemo in his natural habitat! Believe it: SCUBA diving = finding Nemo.

Of course, it’s not just Nemo you’ll find down there. You’ll see the Little Mermaid’s pals, Happy Feet, Jaws, Moby Dick and of course Flipper will protect you. There is simply no other experience like diving on earth because you can’t be deep underwater for extended periods of time without the equipment. FACT. If you’re nervous of diving, don’t be. If you think seeing pictures, film or visiting an aquarium is enough, you’re wrong. Imagine never visiting earth above water and seeing it second hand through a screen… See what I mean? Pants. Dive and breathe 40m underwater, you will not regret it.

10 Top Tips for Breathing 40m Underwater

1. Don’t get to 40m only to realise you’ve forgotten the equipment.
2. Don’t actually stay at 40m for long, best to stay about 10 – 30m.
3. Dive in groups. Spare air is super handy.
4. There are a number of recognised training organisations, the best known is PADI. Surprisingly not run by an Irishman.
5. Swim with a manatee to see why they’re called sea cows, then wonder why sailors used to mistake them for mermaids. Clearly those sailors had been at sea for a very, very long time.
6. Always spit, never swallow.
7. Learn to dive initially in a swimming pool. It’s more controlled, calmer and there’s less risk of breaking coral. It can take decades for coral to grow and you don’t want to be responsible for destroying decades of growth with a rogue flipper*, do you? You evil b@stards.
8. Remember flippers are actually called ‘fins’. Don’t call them flippers or you’ll look stoopidz (*except in point 7 above for comedy value).
9. Seeing sharks is actually amazing, except if you see a really big shark. At which point you are legitimately allowed to be worried. Piece of advice – if you want to avoid sharks, don’t dive near them. You can easily dive without seeing the dangerous type of shark. I wouldn’t jog past lions, you can avoid sharks by following similar procedures.
10. Find Nemo. He rocks.