Review: clop clop high heels

Are you deaf woman?

I knew there was a reason for this blog existing and This Is It. Clop clop high heels make me irate! It always starts when you least expect it at 7am on your way to work. All is quiet, all is peaceful. The sun is shining and you’re starting to think to yourself, this isn’t so bad at all. A quick trip on the tube to the office, a nice cup of tea… Then CLOP CLOP CLOP! Horse feet appears behind you instantly ruining your mood, your day, your life. CLOP CLOP! Will she overtake you and just go away? No! She’ll keep walking directly behind you. CLOP. To annoy the hell out of you. CLOP. You speed up to get away. CLOP CLOP double-time CLOPETY CLOP. She won’t let you get away – you’re her’s. CLOP CLOP. Shut up you stupid clop clop hoofed mule! You’re on the train platform and dart down it to get away. CLOP CLOP I WON’T STOP. She knows. She knows she’s got your number and you’re running out of places to hide. In a flash of ingenuity you decide to stop so she has to go past. SLOWDOWN CLOP. PLOD PAST CLOP. CLOP? YOU WANT MORE CLOP? She’s clopping past slower than a snail like someone running their fingers down a blackboard. CLOP TIL YOU DROP.

Women: clop clop heels are wrong. Buy padding or some new shoes.