Review: The Complete Chihuahua Encyclopedia

The Complete Chihuahua Encyclopedia by Hilary Harmar, published in 1972, is a must read.

Hilary Harmar and her husband. With them are Chiquis, Columbina and El-pis. Her original Chihuahuas.

“Some years ago I received a telephone call from an old lady. She had bought a little Chihuahua bitch from a friend who had gone abroad. The little bitch had been bought in whelp, and one day not long afterwards, the old lady discovered to her astonishment that her bitch was about to have puppies.” And that’s just the first two sentences in this monumental achievement in literature.

It reads as you would imagine a strict and severe British lady of the elite would talk and contains more information about Chihuahuas than you could imagine exists. This book is a detailed – very detailed – guide that elaborates on every single possible piece of information you will ever need to buy, raise, breed and show Chihuahuas. Don’t even get me started on the nine step guide to taking a Chihuahua’s temperature. It goes into more detail than a book on beastiality. It probably generates more pleasure for its readers too.

Correct! Jesus Christ, why would anyone want one of these monsters?!

Apparently The Complete Chihuahua Encyclopedia is something of a global phenomenon and at Dead Tomorrow towers it has become a phenomenon for, probably, different reasons. Paris Hilton must own a copy of this book to raise her Chihuahua, Tinkerbell. Indeed, Paris may be the only person who can now afford it. If you want a copy, it will set you back £274.50 on Amazon. Considering this was a book I found on the street, you can imagine the excitement of discovering my recession safety blanket. Given its pricelessness however, this book ain’t going nowhere.

If I did want to sell the book, Harmar offers the following sound advice on telephone enquiries, “Always write down the person’s name, address and telephone number. This is in case it is necessary to contact them again. It is useful to add what the person requires and to what price he is willing to go. This is usually only a rough guide, as it is often found that a person who wants a bitch for £5, eventually buys one for £75 with no hesitation!” 

Let's hope she wasn't the inspiration for Cruella de Ville. Or vice versa.

Owning a copy of this book, as I hope everyone will aim to do after reading this review, is like owning a manual to life. A lady poured soul into this book and it truly feels as I’d imagine an original copy of the bible must. A life’s work handed from one generation to the next. I bet there are bourgeois women across the home counties sticking vaselined room temperature thermometers up the rectums of their bitches in whelp at this very moment. 

“She has written several comprehensive books on specific breeds, but this one, as a practical guide and reference for the dedicated breeder is OUTSTANDING” said The Field of Hilary Harmar’s master work. I can’t help but agree.