The Colonel is rolling in his grave. At £3.99 for a “family feast” it definitely beats the Colonel’s £9.99 bargain bucket, even if you chuck in an extra quid for a bag of chips. You still have to cook SFC though, so it might not appeal to the type of family that would invest in [...]
SHOCK!
Twatface Deyn (aka Agyness) first slunk into my life on the programme Green Room on which she was billed as “the biggest supermodel sensation performing with her rock band friends.” I was expecting big things, or at least, a supermodel, a personality or a performer. Instead I got a skinny girl with annoying Muppet hair, [...]
Fuck All First is more like it.
I’ve been going to Fitness First gyms for over 3 years now and I’m still not fit. After 36+ months of paying you fifty quid, Fitness First, I expect more. Steroids, or some such reward scheme.
Having been to over 13 different clubs up and down the UK I can conclude that [...]
Available now at B&Q.
Chicken. Potatoes. Pud. Sparkling wine. DONE.
BAM! Tesco fights back. It was only a matter of time before the big T delivered its recession bomb: a £9 mid-week meal deal. Tesco Finest chicken in mushroom sauce, Finest dauphinoise potatoes, Finest pannacotta and prosecco. For £9! A pound less than the Marks & Spencer weekend deal and a saving [...]
Boo hoo hoo! She’s been let down five times before, we’ll let her cry. Hopefully she won’t let go.
The likes of the BBC are claiming that this year’s Oscars were predictable but I claim the opposite. Award shows rarely award who the public hope to see win. In fact, the last time I can remember [...]
You too can pay for someone to turn up at your party that looks nothing like Nicole Kidman.
You’ve bought CDs, books, perhaps even your Tesco shopping online. What other great services does the internet have to offer these days? A lot. One such service is A-list Lookalikes, offering the hire of fake celebs for parties [...]
Poor little fella, all the attention must be getting to him.
The Complete Chihuahua Encyclopedia by Hilary Harmar, published in 1972, is a must read.
This is what pop is all about. 46 secs in: how to walk down stairs.
“I’ve been the victim of gossip.”
I’ve watched some shit in my time, and this show is buried deep at the bottom of the cesspit. It’s worse than Nicole Kidman’s Nightmaster and that film literally damaged my brain. This week the BBFs all went down to the farm to shovel manure and they all voted who [...]
A Lady always wears porcelain and dances like a robot
JUSTICE! Girls Aloud, Pet Shop Boys, Kings of Leon and Katy Perry all won awards. Even Duffy deserved at least one of the three awards she won. Plus Kylie presented. The ingredients were there but the Brits were still crap. Who the hell is/are “Elbow”? Allegedly [...]
“I look at her and I wanna headbutt her.” – Jade
When people said “I want her to go away and die” I don’t think they expected her to do it. Jade Goody pisses me off as much as the next man, but I don’t want her to die. Even at her lowest low during the [...]
Baggy shell suit, hoop earrings and dodgy special effects. Tee hee.
Frankly, when I saw the video “Galang” by M.I.A. on The Box four years ago I thought someone was having a laugh at their expense. I certainly didn’t imagine them reappearing with a song virtually guaranteeing an Oscar win. First watch the film, then buy [...]
The biggest ‘will they / won’t they’ in cinematic history!
For whatever reason I wasn’t expecting to like this film, by the end of the credits it firmly planted itself on my list of all time favourite films. Everything about the complex and clever plot, to the nastiness contrasted with happiness, to the most deserving soundtrack [...]
Imagine the horror as I realised my missing iPod earphones were in fact in the pockets of the jeans that had just come out of the wash. Miraculously, they now work better even if they some how look dirtier. Apple know how to make technology.
“Where’s Enrique Iglesias?” I hear you cry. “What happened to that ‘my goodies, my cookies’ woman?” You shout. Crafting the best mega-celeb duet since Shakira and Beyonce (Freemasons Remix) and buying stuff from Ikea to smash in the video, that’s where.
Pie. Pud. Beans. Fiver. DONE.
All supermarkets are in on it at the moment: recession meal deals. Hooray! Each seem to be aiming for a different English pound note. We’ve had the twenty quid Marks & Spencer Valentine’s special and their tenner weekend special. In steps Sainsbury’s with this mid-week feast for a mere fiver! Particularly [...]
Carrots come in all shapes and sizes
Growing up I had loads of sex education. During the first lesson at eleven years old I put forward the question, “what happens if the condom comes off inside the woman?” An embarrassed response being, “eventually it will work its way out.” Aged 14 and putting condoms on carrots [...]
