Attention seeking media darling David Cameron’s favourite phrase is “Broken Britain”. So much so that if you type Broken Britain into Google two suggested results that include David Cameron in it come up before you even hit the search button. There is a vital flaw to this catch phrase though: Britain is not broken. In [...]
The big news on Wednesday 27th of January 2010 was that Apple’s new iPad would have borders the width of one human male. The world looked on in horror as a man demonstrated live on stage that no, the width wasn’t a deception, the iPad’s borders genuinely were the same width as his upper chest. [...]
Sorry, but I can’t trust a smarmy, unoriginal, publicity whore. Least of all male ones.
Will they never learn?! Only death of the human race awaits with these creations. The stupid woman is even antagonises the thing at the start! It won’t forget that push woman. Ony day it’s going to come back to push you shortly before ripping your head off.
“It’s the end of the human population!” I’ll probably eat my bacony hat as I am dying tomorrow, but I’m willing to bet that it isn’t. Not even close. Yet you’d be mistaken for thinking that it is as the world press go totally pork chops about the thing. The BBC website has even wheeled [...]
As if the original isn’t hilarious enough:
The parodies have started landing:
It’s hard to know which is funnier – perhaps they’re equally funny.
It’s highly likely that in the UK we are all today in the same boat: sad that Jade Goody has died and a little unsure of how to feel about her time in our lives. In 2002 the UK population witnessed Jade’s arrival into our daily media consumption through Big Brother. This was followed by [...]
What the bleedin’ ‘eck is that Pope bleeting on about this time?! What aggravates is the Pope opening his mouth. Apparently his latest media blitz was actually meant to be along the lines of: condoms are bad because people should abstain from sex altogether. What his quote actually did was send out the message: condoms make AIDS worse [...]
With Gordo Brown and Hazza Harman ”clawing” after his dosh, I bet ex-RBS chief, Fred Goodwin, is wishing he retired this time last year. Which led me to wondering, who else at a senior level has retired over the last 18 months from RBS, or other banks, to a similarly massive payout? Surely their pensions should be investigated [...]
SHOCK!
Twatface Deyn (aka Agyness) first slunk into my life on the programme Green Room on which she was billed as “the biggest supermodel sensation performing with her rock band friends.” I was expecting big things, or at least, a supermodel, a personality or a performer. Instead I got a skinny girl with annoying Muppet hair, [...]
“I look at her and I wanna headbutt her.” – Jade
When people said “I want her to go away and die” I don’t think they expected her to do it. Jade Goody pisses me off as much as the next man, but I don’t want her to die. Even at her lowest low during the [...]
Carrots come in all shapes and sizes
Growing up I had loads of sex education. During the first lesson at eleven years old I put forward the question, “what happens if the condom comes off inside the woman?” An embarrassed response being, “eventually it will work its way out.” Aged 14 and putting condoms on carrots [...]
That. Is. It. Pope Benedict XVI, I’ve got your number! And it’s at the bottom of this article rated out of five. Even if there is God or a god or lots of gods, what right does one man appointed by a religious institution, not god/s, have to publicly join in discussions about euthanasia? He [...]
What is actually worse in people’s eyes: a young guy smoking cannabis or someone taking photos of a ‘friend’ smoking cannabis and then selling them to publicly destroy the ‘friend’? I dare anyone to say the former. Michael Phelps, US Olympic swimming champion, made a mistake, the same mistake any 23 year old could make. [...]
